I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just cropdusted the office
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
