yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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