which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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