At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
