you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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