I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
