Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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