I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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