It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
