Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
