You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
