my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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