happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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