just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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