I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
