youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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