You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
