think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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