Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
