What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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