Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
All I want is dick and wine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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