After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
