Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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