i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You're like the curious george of whores
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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