Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
