There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
