Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
