...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
my poor anus
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
