just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
