i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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