So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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