I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
