I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
