didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
