how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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