You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
