Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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