how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
