we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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