I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
