Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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