Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize