So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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