Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
