Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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