Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
