I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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