i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
