I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
