Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
