I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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