let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize