Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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