I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
