I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
