they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
