i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
