help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
