I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
