I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
