Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
