wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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