She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
