Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
