It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
