You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
