I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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