meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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