Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
