Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
